Saturday, April 3, 2010

Loving-kindness/assesment unit 6 blog

Hi everybody,
Of course the Spring break still not finished, hence my late blogging, but late better than never in this case.
The loving-kindness exercise seemed to me like hypnotizing myself to think of a world free of suffering, like Michael Jackson's (RIP) son "heal the world", but in this case and although I felt better for a while, I realized nothing had changed. I am not a patient person, if I am on a diet I want immediate results, if I pray I want immediate answer, if I study I want immediate success and so many times I give up something if I did not see immediate results. I am wrong though, I know I am, so I guess this exercise is meant to make me feel better for a reason, to expand my spiritual experience and to make reflect my positive feeling towards others, so I guess at the end I got it.
The assessment was another story. I lack spirituality in my interpersonal quadrant, I did not before, but recently or for the last two years I do not look at people the same way, I kind of froze and not willing to get in the social game anymore. I know things happen for a reason and my failure in my relationship had its own benefits and I appreciate that failure that set me free of so many things, but I do not feel like getting emotionally involved or even be with people as much as I used to be. I would say I am on level zero on my development in this quadrant and I would be lucky if I managed to get back to any level other than zero, I am saying zero because my body, mind, and spirit are all underdeveloped interpersonally.
I am not sure how I can enhance this area if deep inside I do not see why, I do have family, but I have no personal or community activities like I used to be. May be if my school is done and I have more time in my life I would invest in this area, I am trying to think about it now that I recognize my short-coming.
I need to prepare the ground for my upcoming development may be by commiting more to social events in my community, of course I have to chose things that involve my son as well. I recently became a member of the wild life reserve society because I am an animal lover so is my son. I think I will get more involved in the Summer because may starting with animals will lead to better ralationship with people as well. I do have friends by the way, but I stopped visiting or going out with them for the last two years, making all kinds of excuses and I just e mail them, I even hate talking on the phone!


  1. Hi Fatima,

    I am sorry you are going through such a difficult time right now, but I can certainly relate to it. Realize it is merely a phase you are going through and once you see the silver lining in the cloud, you will be ready to move on!

    It's so good you are in this class to help you with your personal development. Keep up the good work, and don't ever give up!


  2. Dear Fatima,

    Hello!!! I am glad to see that you feel as overwhelming at peace as I did during the universal loving-kindness exercise!

    As for your strategies with growth and development with a greater wellness, you must keep your head high during the rought times. Just know that everyone experiences moments in life like this, and you will soon get through it. Just like Paula said you can never give up no matter how hard it is sometimes!!

    My mother felt the same was as you for a little while after her divorce, but now I see her lively again allowing various people into her life without shutting everyone out because she is deeply afraid of getting hurt again. You must know that there are still good people out there who will care about you, and it will feel good to see that. Like I tell my mother, enjoy the time you spend with other people, but don't ever totally depend on another person just incase they decide to turn their back on you.

    GREAT BLOG & KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK FATIMA!! See you in seminar next Unit!

  3. Fatima, Fatima, I have had so many hurts myself. I listen to you and my compassion soars and reaches out to you. My Past hurts hinder me to trust but I am working on improving what it takes to have stable and loving relationships. I have learned I will start with myself and I believe that these new tools will help me manage and recreate my world. I pray that you will find peace love and happiness to fill your world!!
    Brenda A