Saturday, April 3, 2010
Loving-kindness/assesment unit 6 blog
Of course the Spring break still not finished, hence my late blogging, but late better than never in this case.
The loving-kindness exercise seemed to me like hypnotizing myself to think of a world free of suffering, like Michael Jackson's (RIP) son "heal the world", but in this case and although I felt better for a while, I realized nothing had changed. I am not a patient person, if I am on a diet I want immediate results, if I pray I want immediate answer, if I study I want immediate success and so many times I give up something if I did not see immediate results. I am wrong though, I know I am, so I guess this exercise is meant to make me feel better for a reason, to expand my spiritual experience and to make reflect my positive feeling towards others, so I guess at the end I got it.
The assessment was another story. I lack spirituality in my interpersonal quadrant, I did not before, but recently or for the last two years I do not look at people the same way, I kind of froze and not willing to get in the social game anymore. I know things happen for a reason and my failure in my relationship had its own benefits and I appreciate that failure that set me free of so many things, but I do not feel like getting emotionally involved or even be with people as much as I used to be. I would say I am on level zero on my development in this quadrant and I would be lucky if I managed to get back to any level other than zero, I am saying zero because my body, mind, and spirit are all underdeveloped interpersonally.
I am not sure how I can enhance this area if deep inside I do not see why, I do have family, but I have no personal or community activities like I used to be. May be if my school is done and I have more time in my life I would invest in this area, I am trying to think about it now that I recognize my short-coming.
I need to prepare the ground for my upcoming development may be by commiting more to social events in my community, of course I have to chose things that involve my son as well. I recently became a member of the wild life reserve society because I am an animal lover so is my son. I think I will get more involved in the Summer because may starting with animals will lead to better ralationship with people as well. I do have friends by the way, but I stopped visiting or going out with them for the last two years, making all kinds of excuses and I just e mail them, I even hate talking on the phone!